In 4 months, 2 weeks, and 2 days, I will be swearing into the U.S. Foreign Service as an American diplomat. It’s a moment I’ve been anticipating for 2 years, and in some ways, almost a decade. It marks the moment when I can fully shed the residual shame of being a medical school dropout and imposter syndrome that I often feel in the field of international relations. It also marks the moment that my plans to move overseas solidify once again. It has been almost 4 years since my husband and I returned from Peace Corps service in The Gambia, West Africa and I am itching to go overseas again.
With all the excitement comes nerves and the very possible reality that my husband Rehan and I will have to live separately our first tour. Amid all the excitement, yearning, and sense of completion, I feel a tinge of dread. For the vast majority of U.S. Foreign Service applicants, the prospect of A-100 comes with an unexpected email. One minute, they’re just living their normal lives and the next, they are presented with the ultimate life-changing choice-to join or to not join the U.S. diplomatic corps.
From the moment that I received my invitation, I’ve been imagining what the months leading up to Flag Day would feel like. I knew I’d be excited, but I never imagined that I’d feel so anxious. My anxiety mostly stems from my husband’s remote work situation. Thankfully, he works in a field that offers plenty of opportunities for remote work. Unfortunately, the job opportunities for globally remote positions are highly competitive and less abundant in the post-COVID world.
It seems like every day, we have some iteration of the same conversation:
Where will we be posted? No clue.
What if my company doesn’t let me work overseas? They might not.
Can I find another job that is globally remote? Maybe… they are so competitive.
What happens if I can’t find a remote job? It doesn’t make sense to follow you if I’m not working…
If we live apart, how long will it be for? Hopefully, as short as possible…
A great deal of the A-100 nerves come from the fact that there are so many unknowns. We don’t know where we’ll be posted.
We don’t know if Rehan’s job will let him work remotely.
We don’t know if there are certain countries that are more advantageous for him to work from.
We don’t know… so much.
As intense planners, we’ve been struggling with the vast black hole that is the U.S. Foreign Service. No matter how many times we try to find answers, it always feels like the answers are available only once you “reach that stage” in the process. Even in 2024, in the peak digital age, information about the U.S. Foreign Service is difficult to find unless you have connections or are obsessed with Reddit. There is absolutely a culture of gatekeeping in the U.S. Foreign Service and this is felt deeply by many new FSOs who search desperately for information in order to make some of the most important decisions of their lives.
As the days, weeks and months inch along, I ache for more clarity about the future. I cannot wait to find out where I’ll be headed for my first tour and whether or not Rehan will be able to join me. I am excited to finally be able to call myself a diplomat. With time, I hope the nerves cool off and I am filled with that same sense of ethereal awe that I felt when I first found out I would be a diplomat. Only time will give me all the answers that I need and until then, all I can do is wait.
rehmatravels.com 